Friday, May 24, 2013

Inspiration List - love is not determined by the one being loved but rather by the one choosing to love.

Freshman year of high school is a year where a lot changes. Everyone changes. Me included.

My friends most definitely included. But they changed in a way that didn't appeal to me. They started doing things that my morals and values didn't line up with.

That year I had to accept the fact that they weren't the people who I used to be friends with and I needed to cut my ties. However, it took me basically the whole school year of being rejected, pushed away, and emotionally abused for me to finally decide that I was better off without them.

Why did it take me so long? Well because my best friend was doing stupid things that were going to get her in trouble. And I was the only one who would look out for her. I cared too much and put up with a lot of pain to make sure that if she needed someone that I would be there for her.

Well that year I had a friend that I had been pushing away. I didn't realize it so much at the time that she was really only looking out for me cause nobody else would. I actually didn't realize it at all.

I just would get mad at her for sticking her nose in my business. She would always tell me what to do like she was my "guidance counselor" or something (I think we would call you that ). And I would just tell her I could handle things on my own.

Not until a few years ago did I realize she was doing the exact same thing I was. She was looking out for a friend in need, when nobody else was looking out for them.

I know how little appreciation I got from trying to look out for my friend. And I am so sorry that I didn't appreciate you more at the time. You were one of the only true friends I had at the time.

Paige Jost.
You are an angel.

Thank you for helping me become who I am today. You were the only one there for me when I had been abandoned by all my friends. And you were still there for me even when I didn't want you to be- but more importantly when I needed you to be. You were the only one who was there to make sure I was going down the right path.
Thank you for having a heart too big and a need for reciprocal feelings too small.

All my love,

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